Not All of This Belongs to Me

Letting go of what isn’t ours to hold

Have you ever felt your emotional response was completely out of proportion to what’s actually happening? 

I know I have.

You know you’re safe but panic flares up. 
There’s no reason for envy but it stirs anyway.
You feel rage toward a stranger or a loved one and wonder, “Where is this coming from?”

One lens that’s helped me reflect on this is Family Constellation work, which offers the idea that what remains unresolved in one generation may be passed down to the next. Learning about this modality, and being part of a few constellations, has opened up new ways of thinking about illness, emotional struggles, and recurring life patterns.

What if some of what we carry… was never ours to begin with?

It certainly feels that way at times. Some emotional reactions or thought patterns just don’t feel like me. It’s as if I’ve inherited emotional patterns, echoes of my mother, or those before her, that I didn’t choose, but have taken on. They’ve become so woven into who I am that they’re hard to shake.

What excites me most is knowing that even deeply ingrained patterns can begin to soften—with love, with compassion, and without blame.

And of course, what I explore in myself inevitably shapes how I show up for others, whether it’s in the coaching space or during a myofascial release session.

The question that often arises for me now and that I invite my clients to ask themselves (if it feels right) is:
“Is this mine to carry?”

We don’t always need to know the answers. I do believe in the power of creating space for gentle inquiry, body-based awareness, and emotional unwinding. Our bodies often know how to lead the way.

It is why I love the work I do, there is always so much to learn and discover, so many new ways of offering support and healing.

If something here resonated with you, you’re very welcome to reach out or book a session to explore how I can support your body-mind in letting go of what no longer needs to be held.