We feel it, but can’t always name it: the power of being seen
It still surprises me how willing I can be to ignore my intuition when something doesn’t feel right in a treatment, especially if the practitioner comes highly recommended by someone I trust. It often takes me a while to acknowledge that their approach simply isn’t right for me.
And in itself, that’s not a bad thing. It’s important to stay open and not judge too quickly without giving something a fair chance.
What I find curious is that I feel guilty for my lack of enthusiasm. I tell myself I’m being too sensitive or too judgmental. After all, others seem to benefit - so what’s wrong with me? This is the part that still surprises me, even though I know that no practitioner or modality can be right for everyone.
What’s missing
What I find missing in these situations is something neuroscience describes as resonance - the experience of being deeply felt by another.
My body isn’t a machine made up of parts that need fixing. That kind of approach can be incredibly helpful in certain situations - I was very grateful for it when I broke my foot - but for anything more long-term or complex, it doesn’t reach far enough.
What I’m really looking for is the practitioner’s willingness to be fully present - to the whole of me. Their ability to hold space for whatever might emerge, rather than trying to direct or resolve it too quickly. It’s this kind of presence that supports deeper shifts in the nervous system and influences the body’s natural healing processes and overall wellbeing. Psychologist Stephen Porges describes this as the nervous system moving out of protection and into a state where it can rest, repair, and connect.
We are reminded that the body has its own intelligence and capacity to heal. Techniques absolutely have their place, but equally important is the practitioner’s ability to meet each person with fresh eyes - to listen fully, without reducing the body to separate parts, and to attune to the person in front of them.
Feeling safe enough to let go
This is where Interpersonal Neurobiology, a field developed by people like Daniel J. Siegel, offers a helpful perspective. It looks at how our body and nervous system are continuously shaped through our relationships, and especially through how we are met by others.
This is something we often feel but find difficult to put into words: how the quality of someone’s presence directly affects how we feel in ourselves. The way they listen, their tone, whether they stay with us or try to move us along—our nervous system is registering all of it.
When we are met with genuine care and understanding, the body and nervous system begin to settle. There’s often a sense of calm, a softening, a fuller breath. When that kind of connection isn’t there, the opposite tends to happen - we hold more, brace more, and stay slightly guarded, often without even realising it.
Change happens when the body feels safe enough to let go of some of that holding.
The power of being seen
This is also why moments of feeling truly seen and understood can be so powerful. They don’t just feel meaningful; they create a real shift within, allowing for deep healing and well-being.
Perhaps this is something we can commit to noticing more often. When do you being met exactly where you are? When does your body soften without you having to try? And when do you notice yourself holding or closing off, even slightly?
The first step, as always, is simply noticing what is. You can trust your body - it already knows the difference.
For myself, I know I yearn for this kind of presence in anyone I choose as a practitioner. And it is this same presence and respect that I aim to bring to my clients, both as a bodyworker and as a holistic coach.
It’s also why I choose to work with modalities like myofascial release and Ortho-Bionomy®. Both approaches ask me, as a practitioner, to listen deeply to what I find beneath my hands, without losing awareness of the whole system that is you.
That’s why I love what I do - it invites me to be quietly alert, open, and curious. And I’m constantly amazed by the body’s intelligence, its capacity to adapt, and its ability to heal.
Researchers like Stephen Porges show how the nervous system settles and thrives when it feels safe and connected. Moments of resonance, presence, and being deeply met are where healing truly begins. And it feels so good.
We all deserve to be seen and met for who we are.
Ngā mihi
Uschi
Food for Thought
Discover Ortho-Bionomy®: From Pain to Ease
A 5-minute video created by the Society of Ortho-Bionomy International®
Ortho-Bionomy® is a subtle, non-invasive form of bodywork that encourages the body to release tension, restore alignment, and find ease. Through gentle movements and comfortable positioning, it supports the body’s natural ability to self-correct and relax, creating a sense of calm and balance that feels deeply nourishing.
I’d like to share this video with you as an introduction to a way of working with the body that I truly love and admire
I’ve been integrating principles and techniques inspired by Ortho-Bionomy® for many years, and it continues to amaze me how responsive the body can be when approached in this way.
If you’d like to experience more of this kind of work during your massage session, please let me know beforehand so I can tailor the approach to you.